


I Just Wanna Feel ...

by CookieDoughMe



Category: Haven (TV)
Genre: 2) how closely it fits and, 3) if Nathan is channelling Buffy’s lines then that makes Duke Spike and so much yes to that, I love this title because 1) Buffy, M/M, Pre-Series, also nuke angst, but not by much, nuke smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-02
Updated: 2017-12-02
Packaged: 2019-02-09 16:37:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,247
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12892119
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CookieDoughMe/pseuds/CookieDoughMe
Summary: The title is Buffy's line from the end of Once More With Feeling; “This isn't real, but I just wanna feel …”What happens when the one person you hate and the one person who can make you feel anything are the same?





	I Just Wanna Feel ...

At first, Nathan's Trouble was all encompassing; like a shroud against his skin, a veil between him and the world that followed him everywhere he went.

But then, sometimes, it was as though the shroud was torn.

By some mechanism he did not yet understand, his inability to experience any physical sensation was affected by his emotional state. When calm and collected, he felt nothing. When wound up and agitated, the sensations started to creep in.

And wasn't it just his luck that nothing else in the world wound him up quite so much as the presence of Duke Crocker.

-

Nathan walked through the farmers market, saying hello to stall holders he hadn't seen for a while. He had got out of the habit of coming down here, but it was a good way to keep in touch with the community and let people see that Haven PD was a presence in the town. With his Trouble returned and a few other strange things happening, that was likely to only get more important.

So he walked around, chatted to people, tried some things and bought others. It was a nice day and people were happy and he was generally having a fairly pleasant time until he bumped into Duke Crocker.

Duke’s level of cockiness varied day to day, Nathan thought. Today it was dialled up to max, and it only took a few words from him to get Nathan's hackles up. “Morning Officer,” said Duke, overly cheery as he peered into Nathan's bags, “And what ingredients are you planning on murdering today?”

It was a joke Nathan was in no mood for, but he also could not really tell Duke to fuck off without spoiling the friendly-local-police image, so he replied through gritted teeth with a simple, “Duke.”

Duke was tasting the locally made cheese from the stall they were stood by. “This is good,” he said to Nathan, “You should try it.”

“It is,” agreed Nathan and held up his bags to indicate he'd already bought some.

“Ah, one step ahead of me Officer, it's obviously not true what they say about the police after all,” Duke smirked at him.

Nathan sighed in frustration and went to step around him. Another shopper he hadn't seen walked towards him at the same time and between the two of them not paying attention properly, her bags caught against him.

Which might not have been a big deal, except Nathan felt it and jumped in surprise.

“You alright?” asked Duke, surprised as well. “What happened?”

The other shopper answered by apologising to Nathan, “Sorry, I should pay better attention to my bags.”

As Nathan told her it was fine and she moved on, Duke looked at him and back at the bags in question, apparently from the bread stall opposite.

“Those can't have been that heavy,” he pointed out. “You felt that?”

Nathan frowned and shook his head as though he didn't know what had happened. “Bye Duke,” he said and walked off, leaving the question unanswered.

-

The station was mostly dark and mostly quiet as Duke made his way through the main space; just one of the offices was lit. Duke was almost there before he remembered whose office it was, and he stuck his head through the door half-heartedly. “Is there anyone else here? I need to report a crime to someone who isn’t you.”

Nathan looked up from his paperwork, apparently unsurprised to find Duke being annoying in his doorway. “No,” he replied.

“‘No’? That’s all I get?” asked Duke, annoyance battling for amusement in his reaction.

“Well apparently we’re not doing pleasantries, so yeah.”

“OK, I’m sorry. How are you Nathan? How is life in the world of law enforcement this fine day?” Duke asked, each word draped in sarcasm.

“Fine until someone interrupted me to not-tell me about a crime,” Nathan threw back.

“OK but there must be someone less un-sympathetic I can talk to.”

“Graveyard shift,” offered Nathan by way of explanation. He looked at the clock. “It’s late Duke. What happened?” he finished, enough professionalism creeping in that he felt he should make some effort to ask.

“Fine,” Duke sighed. “Someone slashed the tyres on my truck.”

“OK,” Nathan, somewhat surprised to hear that there was a legitimate crime behind this, got up to get a copy of the relevant form from the pile at the other side of the room. “Any idea who did it?”

“If I knew who did it I wouldn’t be here, I would have gone to find them and …” Duke suddenly changed pace as he noticed Nathan’s pointedly raised eyebrow, “... politely asked them not to do it again.”

“Right,” replied Nathan, unconvinced. “So when did it happen?”

“I don’t know, Nathan. Can we not do all the detectiving? I noticed it just now, that’s why I came here. I don’t know when it happened, or who did it, or why. I guess, there are certain … previous business associates who may have wanted to … or then again certain, husbands of certain women, but … I don’t know.”

“If you don’t want any ‘detectiving’ then why are you telling a detective about it?” asked Nathan, somewhat reluctantly taking a form from the pile, struggling for a moment to separate two pieces of paper with fingers that couldn’t feel them.

“It’s a crime, right? Responsible citizens are supposed to report crimes, I’m sure of it.”

“So this is you being a responsible citizen? Business dealings with thugs and affairs with the wives of dangerous men?” Nathan was becoming less sympathetic and more annoyed by the minute.

“I didn’t even know she was married, and it wasn’t exactly …. Look. That is not the point. Someone damaged my property; are you going to record it or not?”

Nathan waved the form at Duke as he walked past on the way back to his desk, and as Duke batted it back out of his face it slipped in Nathan’s hand and dug into the skin at the base of his thumb to leave a small paper cut.

Nathan jumped back as though shocked, glaring at the piece of paper in surprise. A moment later, Duke reacted as well, “You felt that? What happened? What did you feel, or I mean how …?”

“Papercut,” replied Nathan staring at his hand. “Don’t know.”

Curious, Duke reached out to pull Nathan’s arm towards him so he could get a better look at the cut. Nathan’s eyes widened as he touched him. “You felt that, too,” observed Duke.

“Let go of me,” replied Nathan and pulled a little further away, no longer remotely interested in whoever may or may not have slashed Duke’s tyres and entirely out of enthusiasm for trying to explain to Duke what was going on with his Trouble, since he had no idea himself.

“You felt something the other day at the market too didn’t you. Is your Trouble wearing off or something?”

“Don’t know.”

“But isn't that good news? Shouldn't you be happy? You can feel everything right, not just the pain?”

Nathan was not interested in talking about it, and particularly not to Duke Crocker of all people, but Duke was too curious not to keep asking questions. Nathan turned his back to Duke to put the form down and leant his hands on the desk for a moment, drowning Duke’s voice out and paying attention to his body instead. It was true; from his toes to the top of his head, and by way of his beating heart, he could feel everything.

Dimly aware that Duke was still talking, Nathan straightened up and turned around to tell him to leave, and was surprised to find Duke much closer to him than he'd realised. His hand came up almost instinctively to provide some kind of barrier to the closeness and before he knew it his fist was bunched in the fabric of Duke’s partly open shirt, his knuckles pressed against Duke’s bare skin.

“I don't _know_ if it's good news,” Nathan said between gritted teeth. “I don't _know_ why it's happening, and I _do not want_ to talk about it with _you_.”

“But you do want to feel though. I notice you're not letting go of my … shirt.”

The perfectly timed pause before the word ‘shirt’ (the incredibly suggestive pause in which Duke might have said ‘chest’ or ‘skin’ instead), was one step too far for Nathan just at that particular moment. He straightened his fingers out and pushed Duke hard in the chest. “Get out,” he said as Duke stepped quickly backwards. “I'll send an officer round to take a statement from you in the morning.”

“OK but …”

“Go, Duke,” said Nathan firmly. Adding, with just a touch of something that might have been close to desperation, “Please.” He turned his back on Duke again and waited until he heard footsteps heading away from him.

He leant against the desk, ran his hands through his hair and flexed his toes in his shoes, and he felt all of it. What the hell was going on?

-

It was the next time it happened that Nathan realised. It had been a couple of weeks, and once the feeling had faded again that night, it hadn't come back. And then he saw Duke again, spoke to Duke again, found Duke infuriating again, and there it was. It started as a distant tingling in his toes and his fingers, then a warmth moving all through him and then he could feel again, he was back to normal. So he got out of there as quickly as he could, went for a walk in the fresh spring air, and dared to hope it might stay, dared to hope his Trouble might be on the way out. And, as he entertained such happy thoughts and the irritation of the conversation with Duke faded, so did the sensations.

Over the following weeks he paid careful attention to what happened before any hint of physical sensation he felt, and what his mood was doing at the time. Slowly he came to realise that it wasn’t the nature of his mood that was relevant, just the level of the emotion. If he got scared enough, or angry enough, or irritated enough, it usually started with a tingling in the ends of his fingers, though sometimes it could be something else entirely. Sometimes it even happened when he was happy, but the link there didn’t seem to be as strong.

No, he realised, the most reliable trigger was that peculiar mix of irritation and frustration that only Duke Crocker managed to generate in him.

And just what exactly was he supposed to do with that realisation?

-

The Rust Bucket was one of those places that had completely different atmospheres at different times of the week. Today on a busy Friday night it was crammed with people and if they were to turn up the music, it might start to feel something like a club.

That was fine with Duke. There weren't many choices of drinking venues in Haven and the variety in this one place helped to make up for that a little. He didn't mind the crowds either, squeezing past bodies as he took the opportunity to make eye contact with the interesting ones and assess people's reaction to his presence. He'd arrived here alone, but he had no attention of leaving that way.

He made his way to the bar for another drink. He knew most of the bar staff and it didn't usually take long to get served, but he realised even he might have to wait a little when it was this busy.

He reached a spot at the bar at the same time as someone else arrived to his right, and the two of them squeezed into a space that was not entirely big enough for two people. He turned to the couple on his left to apologise for squishing a little into their space, and then back around to see if the person he was next to was anyone interesting

Duke stifled a groan, “Nathan Wuornos, what are you doing here?”

Nathan did not try so hard to hide his irritation. “Duke,” he said. “Same thing as you I imagine, trying to buy a drink.”

“hmmm, well a drink isn't the only thing I'm after tonight if I'm honest. Who are you here with?”

“What? Why?”

“Just curious, never mind. Don't think I've seen you in here much before.”

Nathan looked like he would rather be talking to anyone else in the whole place besides Duke, but the guy next to him had his back turned as he tried very intently to talk to a bored looking woman who seemed to be way out of his league, and Nathan didn't have much else to do besides wait to get served.

“Usually working,” Nathan offered. “Didn't expect it to be this busy,” he added, half to himself, looking around in a slightly uncomfortable manner.

“Too exciting for you?” Duke said with a grin. “You prefer it better on a Sunday afternoon when there's three people in here and you can sit at the bar on your own?”

 _Yes, actually_ thought Nathan, realising at that moment it was entirely true. What was he even doing here.

“Fuck off Duke,” Nathan said tiredly and turned to leave.

“Wait, Nathan don't let me scare you off. Stay and have a drink, you'll settle in.” Duke reached out as he spoke, grabbing Nathan’s arm to stop him from going, in a largely automatic gesture given that he knew Nathan wouldn't be able to feel it.

Except Nathan did feel it, Duke saw his surprise and his eyes flick automatically to Duke’s hand with a slightly stunned expression. Duke moved a little closer, partly blocking Nathan’s exit route against the crowd of people behind them. “It's happening again, isn't it?” Duke asked, intrigued. “Your Trouble’s fading.”

“I am not interested in talking about it with you,” replied Nathan.

“OK,” Duke said in acknowledgement. He didn't step away though. He moved a little closer instead and placed the palm of his hand on Nathan's forearm, fingers curling around to the soft skin inside. “Then you won't be interested in telling me why I shouldn't be doing this,” he said as his thumb traced a small circle on the inside of Nathan's arm.

“Duke,” Nathan said, careful and low; half warning him to stop, half pleading with him to carry on.

Duke moved his hand up towards Nathan's elbow, fingers stroking along the inside of Nathan's forearm, following the veins and feeling Nathan's skin shiver in response. He watched Nathan for a reaction, noting that he did not seem very interested in moving his arm away.

“Why deny yourself this?” Duke asked. “You know that I can separate sex from … well, anything else. It doesn't have to get complicated. It doesn't have to mean anything.”

Nathan's eyes flickered closed for a moment against the softly wandering tips of Duke’s fingers and his thumb which had now reached the inside of Nathan's elbow. “What would you get out of it?” Nathan asked after a moment.

Duke almost laughed, thinking _A gorgeous man about ready to beg for my touch_. Instead he just said, “You're so responsive. I think we could have some fun,” and he stepped a little closer as he pushed his fingers further up Nathan's arm, reaching under the edge of his t-shirt.

“I don't think…” Nathan began, hesitantly.

“You think too much, is the problem,” Duke suggested, adding, “Tell me to stop and I will. Move away and I'll let you go.”

Nathan did not doubt the truth of that. Duke might be a criminal, he might be many things, but Nathan had never seen any indication of him trying to force himself on anyone. He wouldn't need to for one thing, Nathan thought; he'd never seen him short of options for partners. Which kind of backed up the ‘it needn't mean anything’ concept, from Duke’s perspective anyway. Meaningless sex was something Nathan himself had less experience with; it was a concept he had not previously been interested in.

Duke’s fingers pushed further along Nathan's arm, reaching closer up to his body, and he tightened his grip a little as he pulled their bodies closer together.

Nathan thought about pushing Duke away, as he had before in the station. There would be something very satisfying about saying ‘No’ to the cockyass bastard. But, he did not want an end to the sensation of a hand on his skin. He did not want an end to that at all, and so he thought that maybe it was time he explored this ‘meaningless sex’ concept.

Nathan cleared his throat and shifted his weight forward a little, “Don't stop,” he said.

-

Duke grinned and pressed his body to Nathan's. “You like that?” he asked, voice low, “I've hardly even touched you yet. Where do you want me to touch you next?”

“Didn't say I wanted to talk to you,” Nathan pointed out.

Duke huffed an acknowledgement, and leant closer to Nathan, bringing his lips almost to touch Nathan's; almost but not quite. He tilted his head to catch Nathan’s eye and played with the suggestion of a kiss as their breath danced over each other's skin.

Eventually he brushed his lips briefly against Nathan's; the lightest touch of skin against skin, a fleeting contact that nonetheless left Nathan gasping. Duke grinned. He brought his other hand around Nathan's waist to his back and pulled him close as he kissed him properly, lips pressed close together as their tongues found each other.

He felt Nathan shift in his grasp, his weight moving forward and his response amping up as he gradually kissed back harder. Oh this was going to be fun.

Duke pulled out of the kiss just far enough to talk, “Wanna get out of here?”

Nathan nodded, unconsciously biting his own lip as his eyes fell to Duke’s. Duke grinned and kept hold of Nathan's wrist as he led the way out of there.

Nathan followed, not caring where they went.

-

Duke took them out of the side door and round the back of the building where it was quiet. He led Nathan away from the glare of the streetlights and pressed him against the wall with a kiss, both of his hands finding the skin at Nathan's waist and lifting his t-shirt to run his fingers over Nathan's ribs.

Nathan gasped even as he kissed back, pulling Duke to him and running his hands down Duke’s back. They ran their hands over each other as they kissed; stomachs, backs and shoulders. Duke pushed Nathan against the wall, making use of the pressure of the wood behind him as an extra unfamiliar sensation. He brought his hands to Nathan's jaw and ran them down to his neck and then up into his hair, brushing against the backs of his ears.

Nathan let out a slightly strangled-sounding noise of surprise and desire that went straight to Duke’s cock. Duke pulled back and opened his mouth to suggest he take Nathan back to the Rouge.

But he never got the sentence out, because just at that moment a laughing group of women spilled out of the bar and turned into the alley by mistake, laughing all the more as they realised before turning around.

And before Duke knew what was happening, Nathan was pushing him away. He heard him mutter under his breath something that might have been, “What the fuck am I doing … in an alley … behaviour I'm supposed to stop for fucks sake.”

“Nate,” Duke began, but Nathan didn't let him finish.

“I can't Duke,” he replied and started to walk off.

“Nate!” Duke tried again, reaching out to his arm to try to stop him going, to try to give himself a chance to point out that they did not need to stay in the alley, given he had a perfectly nice king-size bed not too far away.

Nathan didn't want to hear it though, he shoved his hand away and pushed Duke hard, “I can't!” he almost shouted, and the surprise of that as much as the force of the push left Duke stumbling, falling into the trash cans and just about regaining his balance before he hit the wall too hard.

By that time Nathan was gone.

-

Nathan had hoped it would be a few days at least before he saw Duke again. But just his luck, here he was not yet 24 hours later and already on his way to arrest him.

Nathan stepped onto the deck of the Rouge where Duke was fixing some complicated-looking electronics in the warm evening air. “Duke Crocker, where were you last night be-”

“You know exactly where I was last night,” Duke pointed out, putting down his screwdriver.

“I was home by 11pm. Where were you between 1 and 2am?”

“Is this your way of trying to find out if I took someone else home after you so rudely ran off? Wondering if you missed out are you? Because I think he’d agree that you did,” Duke added with a smirk.

Nathan sighed. “It’s only an alibi if I can verify it. You got a name?”

“None that I’m willing to tell you,” Duke replied, but he stood up to further the conversation.

“Duke Crocker, you are under arrest …”

Duke ignored this, and carried on conversationally, “I didn’t fuck him in the alley by the way. I brought him back here, just like I was about to bring you back here to a perfectly nice bed, before you got scared and ran off.”

“I did not get _scared_ , I just …”

“Not that we actually got as _far_ as the bed, now that I think about it,” Duke added with a renewed smirk. It was the kind of grin that ought to look ridiculous, but on Duke somehow was anything but.

Irritated and flustered, and returning his attention to the _arresting_ plan, Nathan took the handcuffs from his belt and as he pulled the metal apart, he looked down at his hands with an expression Duke was starting to recognise; he could feel the cool metal against his skin.

Duke saw his moment and went for it, stepping right into Nathan’s space and wrapping his fingers around Nathan’s arm just the way he had before. “I don’t know what you want to arrest me for, but I think you know it wasn’t me. You saw I was having a night off.” Duke’s thumb made lazy circles on the inside of Nathan’s arm as he asked, “So what’s your evidence against me Officer?”

Nathan, distracted by the sensation and fighting uncertainty about whether to pull away, replied simply, “Description.”

“Right, well, since (as I say) it wasn’t me, I’m pretty sure they didn’t get too specific with that description. What’ve you got? _White male, early thirties, dark hair?_ Maybe add _Tall and slim_ to that, it could still be any number of people. It could still be you, Nate.”

Nathan’s distracted brain remembered the time pressure which was why he was here right now, “Whoever did it is leaving town today, so …”

“Also not me,” Duke cut in. “The Rouge isn’t going anywhere for a week or so. Check with Beattie, she’s helping me source the part I need. What else you got?” Duke moved his hand up a little, his slowly circling thumb reaching the soft skin at the inside of Nathan’s elbow.

“DNA,” Nathan managed to say, fighting to keep his eyes open.

“Hmmm, damming. Except, I didn’t leave any DNA at any crime scene last night, which means you either haven’t got the results back yet or it’s just a strand of hair that could’ve …”

“Blood spatter,” Nathan clarified.

“I haven’t lost any blood lately, Nathan,” Duke pointed out. He stepped back and pulled off his shirt, spinning around for Nathan to see. “Do I look like I’ve been cut? Maybe you should come inside so you can check the rest of me,” Duke suggested. “Run your hands over every _inch_ of my skin, just to be sure.”

Duke wrapped his fingers around Nathan’s wrist and pulled him gently towards the door inside. Nathan followed the movement, speaking after a moment, “I’ll be checking with Beattie.”

“Of course,” replied Duke easily.

“And looking out for those DNA results.”

“It wasn’t me, Nate. And I don’t know who it was either. I was not doing anything illegal last night, and if you had let me finish what I was trying to say and invite you back here instead of shoving me in the trash, you would have known that for yourself.”

-

Nathan didn't reply, and Duke was silent for a moment as he led him inside, trying to work out how far to push his theory. He’d seen the moment it happened again; every time he'd seen Nathan's Trouble fade it had been mid-conversation. And they had all been very similar kinds of conversations. It seemed only logical to assume a connection.

He decided to go for it. “So how long did the sensation last yesterday?” he asked. “Long enough for you to get home? Who did you think about while you finished yourself off?”

Nathan grabbed his shoulder and spun him around to pin him against the wall, outraged and speechless for a moment as he searched for an appropriate insult.

Duke couldn't help but grin; another smirk really. Nathan looked back at him and wondered; did he know? Had he worked it out?

Duke shifted his body in Nathan's grip, moving against the wall in a way which said, _Well, weren't you supposed to be touching me?_

And as they looked at each other, in that look they reached some kind of understanding. The insults were the same as ever; the same old game they'd played for so long. But now there was another game underneath it; one that might actually be fun.

Nathan pushed himself closer, holding Duke still with his body. “Not you that's for fucking sure,” he said, and he just had time to see Duke’s grin widen before he wiped it away with a sudden kiss.

-

As they ran their hands over each other, Duke marvelled at the range of Nathan's reactions; one minute reaching for him, grabbing him hard with strong hands, the next distracted into stillness, kept inactive by the feel of something as simple as Duke’s fingers on his ear, or tongue on his neck.

They kissed again and Duke pushed his fingers around Nathan's waist, under his t-shirt and up his ribs, and helped Nathan to pull the t-shirt over his head. As Duke appreciated the view, Nathan wondered aloud, “So do I get invited as far as the bed, or is that just for  nameless strangers?”

“If you think you can take your hands off me long enough to walk over there, be my guest.”

Nathan huffed at him. “You're not _that_ irresistible,” he said, and grabbed Duke by the shoulder to spin him around and give him a shove in the right direction.

“Yeah, you just want the opportunity to get good a look at my ass,” suggested Duke, putting on a bit of a strut to make a show of it as he made his way into the bedroom.

“Not interested in looking,” Nathan shot back. “Looking’s not a novelty.”

Duke so badly want to say _So you make a habit of looking at my ass?_ , but he bit back the comment because while he wanted to wind Nathan up, but he didn't want to push him too far and he also didn't want to say anything to ridicule the idea of the attraction between them.

Because whatever the extenuating circumstances of whatever weird shit was happening with Nathan's Trouble, Duke was seeing another side of Nathan now, and he didn't think Nathan would ever be able to deny the spark of attraction between them again.

Of course, whether he would ever act on it again was another question, Duke thought, giving him some extra motivation to make sure Nathan had a good time. Something worth giving some thought to.

-

Having made it as far as the bedroom, Duke turned around to run his hands down Nathan's chest. “Do you feel temperature, when your Trouble’s active?” Duke asked.

“No,” Nathan responded curtly, not appreciating the reminder.

“Wait there,” said Duke, moving away back towards the door. “Get naked,” he added as he left the room.

“Don't take orders from you Crocker,” Nathan called after him.

“Well sure, keep your clothes on if you want,” Duke’s voice drifted through from the next room.

By the time Duke came back with a bowl in his hand, Nathan was stripped down to his boxer shorts.

“Close your eyes,” said Duke.

“What is that?” asked Nathan, wary.

“Something novel,” Duke replied.

-

Duke watched Nathan close his eyes and waited for a moment to see if he planned to keep them closed. He put the bowl on the cabinet by the bed and took one of the ice cubes from it, reaching around to press the cold ice to the skin at the back of Nathan's neck.

Nathan gasped in surprise at the sensation; cold, smooth and unexpected.

“What is that?” Nathan asked again, eyes still closed.

“Ice cube,” replied Duke, moving it slowly down Nathan's spine towards the space between his shoulders. Nathan might have been starting to adjust, but then the ice cube, beginning to melt, released a drop of water than ran in a trail down his back and he hissed in a long breath.

Duke brought his other hand to Nathan's shoulder, helping to keep him still. He moved forward for a kiss as he brought the melting ice slowly down Nathan's spine to the small of his back, feeling Nathan shudder in response.

Duke had another idea. “Keep those eyes closed,” he said, then put the ice in his mouth and pushed it to Nathan's nipple, his lips and tongue warm and wet around it as the cold hard ice pressed against Nathan's sensitive skin. Nathan swore loudly, and Duke moved back grinning, the ice on show between his teeth.

“Do that again,” Nathan said.

Duke took the ice from his mouth. “What if I don't?” he wondered.

“I could still arrest you,” Nathan pointed out, opening his eyes and looking at the bowl next to them.

“I could report you for abuse of police powers,” said Duke, and ran the ice cube cold up the side of Nathan's ribs

Nathan gasped and forced out another threat, “Could also arrest you for bribery. Resisting arrest. Blackmail.”

“Yeah, yeah, shut up,” grinned Duke, and put the ice cube back in his mouth as he bent back towards Nathan's chest.

-

Between Duke’s tongue and Nathan's warm skin the ice cube didn't last all that long, and by the time Duke moved back for another kiss, the only evidence of it left was Duke’s cold tongue. Nathan brought his hands to Duke’s jaw, concentrating on the contrast of temperatures; Duke’s lips warm from his own skin.

With his hands on Nathan's back, Duke pulled their bodies closer together and then slid his hands down to push Nathan's boxers to his thighs. Suddenly wary of exactly what it would be like for Nathan, he moved a hand slowly towards the front of Nathan's body, making it clear where he was going, giving Nathan time to move away if he wanted, time to tell him … Duke didn't know what, but he gave him a chance just in case.

Nathan did not seem interested in moving away though. He shifted his hips to the side a little, towards Duke’s slowly moving hand, on a quiet noise in his throat that could only have been called a whine.

As Duke wrapped his fingers around Nathan's cock, Nathan pulled out of their kiss and leant his forehead on Duke’s shoulder. Duke could feel the tension in his body and considered getting them down onto the bed, but he didn't want to break the moment. He braced his arm around Nathan's back, fingers splayed out at the top of his ass, giving a little support to Nathan's side to help hold himself up.

And then he gripped a little tighter as he moved his hand. He could feel how close Nathan was, could _hear_ how close. Just a few more movements. At the last moment Duke turned his head a little further towards Nathan's and, with Nathan's ear right by his mouth, he blew gently, catching the outside of Nathan's ear with his breath.

And that gentle sensation proved to be the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back, every muscle in Nathan's body tensing at once as he gripped Duke’s arms hard and swore incoherently as he came.

-

Duke slowed his hand gradually as Nathan came down and then carefully pushed him down on to the bed, correctly assuming Nathan was probably not all that interested in standing up at this particular point.

He pulled Nathan's boxers the rest of the way off his legs (half expecting a protest though none came) and then took off the rest of his own clothes before lying down next to him.

Somewhat cautiously, he reached a hand out to run a finger along the outside of Nathan's arm. Duke found it hard to know what to expect at this point. Would Nathan's Trouble slot right back in place? Would more sensation be too much?

He was pleased to find the answer to both seemed to be ‘no’, as Nathan made an appreciative noise at the contact and rolled towards him. Not sure if he was pushing his luck, Duke told him, “If you're hard again by the time I come, I'll go down on you. And I know how to make that last by the way. Soft and warm and wet, and…”

“Stop talking,” Nathan told him, and leant closer for a kiss. They pulled themselves closer in the middle of the bed, hands roving everywhere they could reach and still kiss. They kissed for a long time, hands on each other's backs and hips and jaws, fingers running through each other's hair and gripping tight against each other's ass.

Duke was just starting to get frustrated with the tease when Nathan finally brought his hand between them to find Duke’s cock. He ran his fingers from balls to shaft to tip, like he was learning the feel of it. He stroked his hand lightly, and then gripped his fingers tightly, like he was trying out options. Duke moaned in appreciation at all of it, kissing Nathan the whole while, hips jerking involuntarily as he came.

-

As he came down, Duke felt Nathan’s erection at his hip and slowly pushed Nathan onto his back. He was having enough fun that he didn't want this to be the only time, and he figured making Nathan see stars might be a good strategy. He dotted a few kisses along Nathan's body as he moved down the bed, but more just to communicate his intention than anything.

Because he wanted Nathan to feel Duke’s tongue on his cock, his mouth around him, warm after the cool of the ice cubes. He wanted to draw it out if he could: not the tease before hand, but the act itself. He wanted to make Nathan forget about anything but the feel of skin-on-skin, shrink his whole world down to his cock and Duke’s tongue, Duke’s lips, Duke’s mouth.

And so he wrapped his lips quickly around him but he moved slowly, he made use of all his tricks, but he spread them out, interspersed with nothing but skin pressed gently against skin. He held Nathan's hips still with his hands and Nathan writhed against the sheets underneath him, grabbing at the cotton and the pillows under his head, muttering obscenities and praise under his breath as though Duke couldn't hear.

As he came for a second time the words became a shout and he pulled at the pillow, trying to keep his body still though he would have failed without Duke’s weight on his hips.

-

Duke let him go and flopped down on the mattress beside him. “I've never had this much fun nearly getting arrested before,” he commented. Nathan didn't reply and Duke was unsure if he'd even heard him, but it wasn't worth repeating.

Nathan shifted against the sheets, feeling the fabric underneath him, the air around him, the movement of his muscles and the stretch of his skin.

Duke watched with a grin. “Take a shower if you like,” he said. Nathan resisted for only a moment.

Nathan stood under the falling water for a long time, tracing the path of every drop down his body and relishing in the almost-forgotten sensation of actually _feeling_ clean.

After a while, the heat faded and he reached for the dials before he realised he could no longer feel the pressure of the water either; his Trouble was reasserting itself.

By the time he was dressed, the shroud was firmly back in place and Duke saw it right away, the perceptive bastard. “I'm sorry man,” he said, sounding sincere. Too sincere for Nathan.

“I don't need your pity,” Nathan snapped. And with that he was gone, leaving Duke and a bowl of iced water behind him.

**Author's Note:**

> This is one of those things where I would like to write more if I can, although at the moment I have only vague thoughts on what that might look like.
> 
> If you enjoyed it, then Kudos and/or Comments are always much appreciated:)
> 
> -
> 
> PS - Some extra words around one moment of this fic, that came to me after I'd posted in and which in any case do not quite fit in:
> 
> Duke’s palms pressed Nathan's hips into the mattress, holding Nathan still as the rest of his body moved against what Duke’s mouth was doing to him. Duke’s tanned and calloused fingers pressed close to the soft pale skin around Nathan's hip bones, digging in hard enough to bruise.
> 
> There were no words, but for a moment, Nathan's hand came to rest on Duke's, brushing over his fingers in a way which said; Yes, hold me, grab me, bruise me.
> 
> As Duke reached the top of his movement, Nathan hissed in a long intake of breath that turned to a loud moan as Duke’s lips slid back down the full length of his cock.
> 
> Duke stilled there; paused for a moment to let Nathan feel the warmth of his mouth, the press of his tongue, the feel of his lips.
> 
> Nathan breathed out for what seemed like an improbably long time. Eventually, he hissed in another breath.
> 
> Duke pressed his tongue a little harder and moved his head again.


End file.
